Blessing the children on Erev Yom Kippur

[1] (halacha 923)

Erev Yom Kippur - Blessing the Children

Question: What is the source for blessing the children before Yom Kippur, and what is our minhag¹?

Answer: The Yesod V'Shoresh HaAvodah writes²: 'Before he goes to shul he should bless his children with intense weeping, and the main point of the bracha should be that they be servants of Hashem, may He be exalted, all the days of their lives, and that Hashem, may He be exalted, grant them intellect and discernment in His holy Torah and a great yearning in the study of our holy Torah day and night, and that He grant them long life and years, and that he merit to see from them children and grandchildren engaged in Torah and mitzvos all the days of their lives, and he should admonish them to walk in the fear of G-d all their days, and he should have intention in this admonition to thereby give nachas ruach to the Creator, blessed and exalted be His Name'.

And in the Mateh Ephraim³ he writes: 'They have the minhag that the father and mother bless their children before they go to shul, and they include in this bracha also that they be sealed for a good life and that their hearts be steadfast in the fear of Hashem, and that He place His love and fear in their hearts with a whole heart, and each one, according to the dictates of his heart and the fluency of his tongue, pours out supplications with weeping and with abundant tears so that Hashem may fulfill His word and his prayer be accepted, and he entreats Hashem and He is appeased, and along with this they arouse the sons and daughters to walk in the way of the good and to keep the paths of the righteous, and to strengthen their hearts toward the holy Torah, for at that time there is a tenderness in their hearts from the dread of the judgment, and the words make an impression and enter the heart properly; and many also go to their relatives, men of stature and pious men and men of deed, that they should bless them, and they ask of them that they pray on their behalf on the holy day when they offer prayer for the remnant that is found, to remember them and to mention them for good. And one should hasten to do so while it is yet broad daylight, for when the day has turned toward evening it is fitting that their hearts be steadfast to receive the holiness of the day in calm and composure of mind'.

And in the Elef HaMagen⁴ he writes: 'It is written in the holy seforim that a person must exert himself greatly and endeavor to receive the bracha of his father and mother. And even on every day of the year, and all the more so on Erev Yom Kippur. And Chazal said in the Midrash that all the good and the kingship that the descendants of Esav have is because he valued the bracha of his father and cried out "Bless me too, my father", and see in the sefer Pele Yoetz what he wrote on this⁵'.

In the Keser Shem Tov (Gagin)⁶ he writes: 'The minhag among the Ashkenazim and among the people of Bavel is to bless their children on Erev Yom Kippur before Maariv, but the Sephardim in Eretz Yisrael and the Sefardim-Tehorim bless them on Erev Yom Kippur before they go to shul to daven Maariv'.

In the Sefer HaMinhogim⁷ our minhag is brought: 'After the seudah⁸ hamafsekes, the blessing of the sons, the daughters, etc'.

And it is told⁹ regarding the Rebbe Rashab that he blessed his granddaughters with his hands above the head of each one. And likewise it is brought that after the seudah hamafsekes my father and master [the Rashab] would go to his mother the Rebbetzin to be blessed by her.

Blessing the Students¹⁰

In the sefer Darkei Chaim V'Shalom¹¹ he brings the practice of the author of the Minchas Elazar: 'Toward evening, at the onset of the holy day, before our master would enter the beis hamidrash for the Kol Nidrei tefillah, the special individuals and his students would customarily come then to his room and pass before him like the sheep of Maron, and each man according to his blessing he blessed them'.

In the Sefer HaMinhogim there it is brought: 'Before Kol Nidrei the Rebbe שליט"א has the practice of blessing the Tmimim students (those who were studying in the yeshiva at the time) with the bracha of "ויאמר גו' יברך גו' אברכם"'¹².

Thus we have seen that it is customary to bless the children [and the students] on Erev Yom Kippur after the seudah hamafsekes.

¹ There are those who have the minhag to bless the children on every Erev Shabbos, as brought in the Sefer HaChaim of Rabbi Chaim (brother of the Maharal of Prague), Sefer Parnasah V'Kalkalah, vol. 3, ch. 6: 'And the world has the minhag that the father blesses the son, and likewise the teacher his student on this holy day, because the channels of brochos are open on it ...'. And see also Minhogim D'Kehillah Kedosha Wormaiza of R' Yuzpa Shamash, vol. 1, p. 35, and Siddur Yaavetz ↩

² Shaar 11 ↩

³ OC siman 619:2 ↩

⁴ Ibid., s.k. 4 ↩

⁵ And in s.k. 5 he writes: 'See in the holy Zohar (folio 227) that if a person wishes to bless his fellow or his son, he should first bless the Holy One, blessed be He, and afterward bless the one whom he wishes to bless. And if he does not first bless the Holy One, blessed be He, his brochos are not fulfilled, see there (and see in the sefer Devash Lefi of the Chida z"l), and therefore before he blesses his children or another, he should first bless the Holy One, blessed be He, and say "May the Name of the Holy One, blessed be He, be blessed", and afterward bless the one whom he wishes to bless' ↩

⁶ Vol. 6, p. 281 ↩

⁷ P. 58 ↩

⁸ See HaMelech B'Mesibo vol. 2 p. 182 that the intention is not that before the seudah it is forbidden to bless, and see Otzar Minhagei Chabad, Tishrei, p. 194 ↩

⁹ Otzar Minhagei Chabad, ibid. ↩

¹⁰ See note 1 that they had the minhag to bless the students too on Erev Shabbos ↩

¹¹ Os 747 ↩

¹² Bimei Melech vol. 3 p. 1223, that the Rebbe said: 'Zait ir dem Rebbins kinder' - You are the Rebbe's children. And see Otzar Minhagei Chabad, ibid. ↩

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