Menachem Av
[A] (Halacha 606)
The Gemara in Tractate Taanis1 states: 'When Av enters we reduce in joy .. Rav Papa said: Therefore, a Jew who has a lawsuit with a gentile [=in their courts. Rashi], should evade him during Av, when his fortune is unfavorable, and should make himself available during Adar, when his fortune is robust', and so ruled the Mechaber in the Shulchan Aruch2.
Question: Until when does this law apply, that because his fortune is unfavorable one should evade litigating with the gentile?
Answer: The poskim are divided on this law, as follows:
A) Rabbeinu Yerucham3 wrote: 'When Av enters we reduce in joy, and a Jew who has a lawsuit with a non-Jew, if it is during the month of Av he should evade him, for the Jew's fortune is unfavorable in this month, this is obvious'.
The Magen Avraham4 cited his words and wrote that this appears to be so from the plain meaning of the language of Chazal in the Gemara 'should evade him during Av', that the intent is the entire month, until Rosh Chodesh Elul.
And the Chida5 wrote: 'So it implies from the words of the Ritva in his novellae .. and since he stated it regarding two months, it implies that he means the entire month'.
B) On the other hand, there are Acharonim who rejected the Magen Avraham's proof from the Gemara, as the Korban Nesanel6 wrote on the Magen Avraham: 'And I say that from the language of the Gemara, on the contrary, it implies only until after Tisha B'Av, for Rav Papa said "therefore," referring to what was taught "we reduce in joy," that he should evade him, and the prohibition against rejoicing applies only until after Tisha B'Av'.
And the Chasam Sofer7 wrote: 'And it seems to me there is no proof, for there the days between Purim and Pesach lie between two festivals, see this reasoning in Tractate Taanis daf 18a and Chagigah daf 18a, but here, since the days of distress have passed they have passed, and all the more so after the fifteenth of Av, for there were no festivals for Israel like the fifteenth of Av [etc.], and the festival comes and ends it, and grief and sighing flee and gladness and joy are attained. And in the Yerushalmi at the end of Taanis [chapter 4, halacha 5] on the passage "and the city was breached," see there, one should make this the head of his reckoning, see there, it seems to me a support for the custom that from Tisha B'Av onward a different month begins, and we call it the month of Menachem8. And it seems to me more so that the matter of Adar, the entire month being in joy, is because the fifteenth of Adar is the beginning of the thirty days during which one asks and expounds before Pesach, so the days of Purim and Pesach are embraced one with the other, and this does not apply to Av. And this seems to me, in my humble opinion, to be true, with the help of Heaven'.
And some have noted9 from the words of the Tosafos there who wrote: 'Explanation, because it was stated above: we roll a liability onto a day already liable'. This implies that one need only evade him until after Tisha B'Av, which are the days of misfortune.
And the Korban Nesanel10 further wrote there to prove from the Zohar vol. 2, Yisro 78b: 'Esav took in his portion two months, Tammuz and Av, and he was not found and was lost .. and even of Av, nine days are his and no more and he was lost and not found .. [=Esav took in his portion two months, Tammuz and Av .. and he was not found and was lost since Elul is not his, and even of Av nine days are his and no more, and he was lost and not found]'. And the Korban Nesanel concluded: 'and so the people conduct themselves'11.
However, in the Keser Kehuna (by R. Tzvi Hirsch HaKohen Wallich)12, he wrote: 'However, regarding what he brings in the name of the aforementioned Zohar that Esav took two months, Tammuz and Av, and even Av only nine days etc., at first glance there is some contradiction from the words of the holy Zohar, parshas Shelach daf 174a (Warsaw edition): "and she hid him three months, these are the three months in which harsh judgment rests upon the world, which are they, Tammuz and Av and Teves," end quote13. And these are the three months in which the calamities befell Israel, and perhaps from here the Magen Avraham has support to be stringent throughout the entire month of Av etc., and in such matters we do not inspect from the altar upward, for the Ancient of Days has concealed it until a spirit of wisdom is poured upon us'.
C) Some have written that the law of the Gemara applies until the fifteenth of Av, for it is stated in the Kedushas Levi by the holy Rav of Berditchev on the fifteenth of Av: 'The month of Av. The meaning of "Av," that is, the beginning until the fifteenth of Av is cursed (arur), and from the fifteenth of Av is blessed (baruch). And this is A-B, arur baruch'. And the Yefeh LaLev14 wrote: 'And according to the words of the Rav Kedushas Levi there .. if so, the requirement to evade him is until the fifteenth of Av, for until that time his fortune is unfavorable, since it stands in "cursed," for until the fifteenth of Av it is cursed; but from the fifteenth of Av onward, when it comes into the category of "blessed," then there is no need to evade him, for from the fifteenth of Av onward, the fifteenth included, his fortune is robust, good fortune for Israel, as we learned at the end of chapter 4 of Taanis, Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel said there were no festivals for Israel like the fifteenth of Av etc., for from it light shone for the Jews, it is light and joy'.
But in practice the ruling of the poskim is, lechatchilah, to be concerned lechatchilah for the Magen Avraham, and in a case where this is impossible, to act at least in accordance with the words of the Korban Nesanel, as written in the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch15, and the Mishna Berura16: 'if possible he should evade the entire month17, and at the very least until after Tisha B'Av'.
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Notes:
1 כט, א ↩
2 או"ח סי' תקנא ס"א ↩
3 תולדות או"ח נתיב יח ח"ב קסד, א ↩
4 שו"ע שם ס"ק ב ↩
5 מח"ב או"ח שם ס"ק א ↩
6 תענית פ"ד סי' לב אות ה, ובנתיב חיים בשו"ע שם ↩
7 או"ח סי' תקנא ס"א ↩
8 וראה שו"ת להורות נתן ח"י סי' נב אם חודש מנחם מתחיל בט' באב או ביו"ד באב ↩
9 כה"ח או"ח סי' תקנא ס"ק ג ↩
10 הביאו הרבי בלקו"ש חי"ט ע' 65 ואילך ↩
11 וכ"כ הבא"ח ש"א דברים ס"א ↩
12 הובא בילק"מ על השו"ע שם ↩
13 בלקו"ש ח"ט ע' 78 הערה 48 הרבי ציין לזהר שמות יב, א שכותב את אותם דברים. וראה גם לקו"ש חי"ט ע' 66 הערה 65 ↩
14 ח"ב סי' תקנא אות ג ↩
15 סי' קכב ס"ז ↩
16 שו"ע שם ס"ק ב ↩
17 וראה גם ממ"ש הרבי אג"ק ח"ט ע' רכה (לגבי האם לעשות חתונה בחודש אב או לדחות לחודש אלול), בשוה"ג של המכתב: 'מג"א רסתקנ"א. וגם את"ל כהק"נ (תענית פ"ד סק"ג) ע"פ זח"ב (עח, ב) - הרי אף דיש לפסוק דינו דעשו דט' יום אינון דילי' ואח"כ מתאביד ולא אשתכח, יש לייעץ ליעקב, עכ"פ אם באפשרי בקל - אלול, ומהיות טוב כו' ..'. ולגבי חתונה ראה גם אג"ק חט"ו ע' רב ↩
[B] (Halacha 627)
Question: May one marry during the month of Av?
Answer: Indeed, we find poskim who were stringent and wrote that it is not fitting to marry throughout the months of Tammuz and Av, as the Minchas Elazar1 wrote: 'And I heard in the name of my uncle and grandfather, the holy Rav of Rozvadov ztz"l, that he, for himself, acted upon himself stringently regarding the marriages of his offspring not to hold them in the months of Tammuz, Av, and Teves and the like, and his reason apparently is from the words of the holy Zohar2 "and she hid him three months," these are the three months in which harsh judgment rests upon the world, and which are they, Tammuz, Av, Teves, and there is also there an alternative reading: Shevat, and see in the holy Zohar Yisro3'.
But in practice he wrote there regarding the month of Tammuz: 'It is plainly evident from what is explained in Shulchan Aruch OC4 in the Rema that the custom is to be stringent that one does not marry women from the seventeenth of Tammuz onward until after Tisha B'Av, which implies that in the month of Tammuz before the seventeenth of Tammuz there is not even a custom or any stringency at all'.
And regarding the month of Av he wrote there: 'Go out and see how the people conduct themselves, and likewise the great ones of the world who hold marriages in them, particularly in the month of Av after Shabbos Nachamu, and surely there is no objection'.
And we likewise find regarding the Alter Rebbe, who married on the 12th of Menachem Av, the eve of Shabbos Nachamu 55205.
And some preferred to set marriages for the month of Menachem Av rather than the month of Tammuz, as written in the sefer Taamei HaMinhagim6: 'And in the name of the holy Rav of Strelisk ztzuk"l, not to hold the wedding in the month of Tammuz, for the combination of the Divine Name of the month of Tammuz is Heh-Vav-Heh-Yod, derived from the verse "וְכָל זֶה אֵינֶנּוּ שֹׁוֶה לִי" ("yet all this is worth nothing to me") from the final letters, the Name entirely in reverse, and it indicates judgment; and the combination of the Divine Name of the month of Menachem Av is Yud-Heh-Vav-Heh, alluded to in the Torah, "הִנֵּה יַד ה' הוֹיָה בְּמִקְנְךָ" ("behold, the hand of Hashem shall be upon your cattle"), its beginning is in reverse, and the second half, Yud-Heh, is in proper order, for from the fifteenth onward mercy is aroused'7.
But in the words of the Rebbe we have seen that, on the contrary, one should prefer and bring forward to the month of Tammuz rather than the month of Av. And these are his holy words8: 'Regarding what you wrote about setting the time of your sister's, may she live, wedding for the month of Menachem Av, the surprise at the length of time is understandable, especially since the groom and bride are in one city. And likewise in the very matter of setting it for the month of Menachem Av, that even in months such as these - it is better at the beginning of Tammuz than on whatever day it may be in the month of Av9. [To note from Tosafos at the end of Megillah, the responsa of the Chasam Sofer, Orach Chaim section 160, and although they raised a difficulty against him on this, nevertheless what is it to us etc.]. And in a case such as ours - all expediting in this matter is praiseworthy, and this is simple'.
If so, in practice one is permitted to marry during the month of Av, but when possible it is fitting to bring it forward and set it in the month of Tammuz
★ ★ ★
Question: May one move to a new home during the month of Av?
Answer: Regarding moving to a new home the Rebbe10 wrote: 'And as to your question regarding setting a time for moving into the new home, in accordance with the well-known saying of Chazal, if possible not in this month but in the month of Elul, which is the month of mercy - that is the proper thing'.
However, in another letter11 the Rebbe wrote: 'In response to your question regarding moving into the new home .. it would be good if you did this after the fifteenth of Av, if it is possible to wait until then'12.
If so, lechatchilah it is preferable to set a home move for the month of Elul rather than the month of Av, and at the very least it is fitting to wait until after the fifteenth of Av.
Notes:
1 שו"ת ח"ג סי' סו ↩
2 שמות יב, א ↩
3 עח, ב ↩
4 סי' תקנ"א ס"ב ↩
5 ראה סה"ש קיץ ה'ת"ש ע' 79 ↩
6 עמ' תיח ↩
7 ויש שלמדו מדבריו (ראה אוצר הפוסקים חי"ז ע' קכח. הנישואין כהלכתן פ"ה הע' 163) שגם לנוהגים להחמיר להתחתן בסוף החודש אין בעיה להתחתן בסוף חודש מנחם אב כי אחרי טו בחודש מתעוררים הרחמים. אך יש שפקפקו (ראה נטעי גבריאל נישואין פמ"ח הערה כג) האם הוא התיר את כל סיום החודש (וראה בנט"ג שם פמ"ז שגם בין הנוהגים להחמיר בסוף החודש יש רבים שנהגו רק מתאריך כ בחודש ויש גם מכד בחודש). [ולגבי ט"ו באב עצמו ראה התעוררות תשובה שו"ת ח"ב סי' קעא]. ולמעשה בכל אופן עפ"י מענות הרבי שהובאו בהלכה מספר 481 הרי שהרבי שולל כל עיכוב במועד החתונה, ולצורך הקדמת החתונה ניתן גם להקל ולערוך בסוף החודש ↩
8 אג"ק חט"ו ע' רב ↩
9 להעיר מדברי רבינו יהונתן מלוניל תענית (ט, ב מדפי הרי"ף): 'משנכנס אב ממעטין בשמחה, כלומר אם אירע לו שישיא בנו ובתו לנשואין בחדש אב ממעטין בשמחת החופה וכל שכן בשמחת מרעות שהיא רשות'. וראה גם הלכה 606 אודות משכנס אב ממעטין .. דריע מזליה עד איזה יום בחודש זה נאמר ↩
10 אג"ק חי"ט ע' שצ ↩
11 אג"ק ח"ט ע' רכח ↩
12 וראה גם מש"כ בהלכה מס' 606 שלכתחילה חוששים שכל החודש אינו ראוי לדברים שצריכים מזל, אך כאשר יש צורך אז יש שכתבו שמט"ו באב כבר בריא מזליה ↩
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